Irene Van Der Wende Netherlands
I have received an abortion.
I was conceived in a very violent manner in which my father was hitting my mother around and virtually took her by force. My mother was very distraught and tried to commit suicide when I was in her womb at the age of about 6 months. She went to the RR tracks on a bicycle planning to kill us both but as the train came and passed by, something stopped her... I am very grateful that abortion was not legal at that time in my country because if it had been, I would not be here. So I am someone who should not have been here because of the way I was conceived in violence.
Later when I was in my 20's, I was ra/ped myself - I was being strangled and chocked to death and a man was over-powering me...I had to give in, just to stay alive. After that I found out I was pregnant...and I was petrified...I had no idea what to do. I was in a frantic frame of mind.. they told me I was actually on the verge of it being allowed to be done legally...I was kind of pushed through a channel of just going to an abortion mill. I found myself at an abortion facility in the middle of the UK...it was a very old building - I will never forget it - the clock was ticking on the wall and there were black and white checkered tiles...I got a number - I was no longer called Irene...placed in a room with 8 women...and they were all asking each other "Why are you aborting your child?" I didn't dare tell them that I'd been ra/ped and that was why I had my child. But due to what they were saying, I had a very last minute thought as I was waiting in the lift to go up...to the surgery room...I said to the nurse, "But I'm a mother - I have a child inside of me..." It was just a split second awareness that I had. She placed her hand on my shoulder and said, "That's ok. Most of you have that problem at the last minute - it's ok...you are doing the right thing." Then the door opened and an abortionist walked in. He was very angry because I had my last minute thoughts.
I felt really bad after the abortion. I felt as if my insides had been scraped with like a razor blade...
Afterward, it wasn't the end of my problem. How we are conceived has nothing to do with our right to life or whether I am a value to society... I had problems with lumps in my breasts...one of the after effects of abortion...I had placenta previa (a condition which causes excessive bleeding)- the lining of my womb was too thin - they said I should not have any more children because the scraping takes away too many layers of the womb...
There are many effects of an abortion that concern me because we are not being told as woman when we go to have an abortion.
Having been conceived in violence myself and having been ra/ped myself, I realize that I could have given love to my child or I could have given my baby up for adoption... Each human is of value, however we were created...or came into being in this world.
Every person's life is of value and we have a right to life. Women need to be told not only what happens when they get aborted - when the baby gets chopped to pieces - it's just absolutely gruesome... but also the effects for the woman and her family...and society afterward.
Even in my own family, I had problems bonding with my children because of having closed my heart after my abortion...my children were wondering, "why did you kill our sister and not us?"
When the family is no longer a stable unit - when the children have to wonder about whether they should be alive or not, it effects everything.
At "Silent no more Awareness" we are no longer women who keep our mouths closed and the effect the abortion has had on us... we would like to join forces together to help each other heal and to tell people around us that abortion is not just a problem that gets fixed...but it's the start of a cruel period in our lives...